![The Lonely Lady [VHS]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/01MKUOLsA5L.gif)
Why is it that stories about rising to fame in the entertainment industry—be it in film, music or as a Vegas showgirl—so often yield camp classics? To be sure there have been respected dramas that have dealt with the subject, but for every “A Star is Born” and “The Day of the Locust,” there are twice as many howlers like “The Oscar,” “Showgirls” and, of course, “Valley of the Dolls.”
And then there is “The Lonely Lady,” a movie that was destined for camp infamy before the first scene was shot. It’s not only set in the world of show business, but said story comes from the coke-fueled imagination of novelist Harold Robbins. As fans of trash cinema already know, screen adaptations of Robbins’ work, excepting “Nevada Smith” and “King Creole,” seldom succeed in rinsing off the stink of the source novels. Then, the icing on “The Lonely Lady”’s cake: it stars Pia Zadora, a performer occupying the same strata of fame as Zsa Zsa Gabor and Charo.
Considering all these elements, it’s a wonder “The Lonely Lady” isn’t worse than it is, and what ended up on screen is pretty bad. It’s also pretty awesome, and now that awesomeness is finally on Blu-ray, to which I'm crediting the power of my prayers. This is the story of Jerilee Randall (Zadora), an aspiring writer with Big Dreams. After overcoming sexual assault by a garden hose-wielding Ray Liotta (yes, THAT Ray Liotta) she marries famed—and significantly older—screenwriter Walter Thornton (Lloyd Bochner). She publishes a couple books that become bestsellers in spite of the fact that their covers make them look about as appealing as a plumbing supply company’s quarterly report, but what she really wants to do is write screenplays. Her first taste of the screenwriting trade is doctoring one of her husband’s scripts (her big contribution: shortening a graveside speech to “Why? WHY?”), which doesn’t sit too well with Walter, though he readily he takes credit for it when everyone on set praises the change. The old pro soon resents his young bride, making snide remarks about her ambition and writing skill. At his nastiest he picks up the very same garden hose Liotta used to violate her and hisses: “Perhaps THIS is more your kick!”
So Jerilee leaves Walter and pursues her dreams of becoming a screenwriter solo. But all the agents and producers she approaches expect *something* (wink, wink) in return for reading her script, as this is based on a Harold Robbins novel. She turns them down in favor of hooking up with married actor George Ballantine (Jared Martin). After being dumped by Ballantine (and getting an abortion), she takes up with a sleazy nightclub owner and aspiring movie producer Vinnie Dacosta (Joseph Cali), lured by his promise to produce her screenplay... as soon as he gets investors lined up. This is where the movie ramps up the sleaze, including an extended Skinemax sequence featuring Zadora and Cali’s naked romp in the club owner’s apartment (a six-foot tall phallic sculpture looming over the bed is a dominant objet d’art), with the fun and games ending when Vinnie forces Jerilee to try poppers. What finally pushes our heroine over the edge, however, is Vinnie pimping her out to a bisexual Italian actress and her producer-husband. The end result: the most incredible nervous breakdown scene ever committed to film. Pia goes all out, showering with her clothes on, trashing her apartment and pounding her old-timey typewriter as the faces of all the people who have screwed her over appear on the keys, swirling about and melting before her eyes as Pia’s anguished visage fades into a vortex, becoming a photonegative.
But wait! We’re not done yet: After a stay at a sanitarium, Jerilee writes a new screenplay, which does get produced, the catch being that Ballantine is attached. She balks, to which an agent says: “You’ve already had one abortion, Jerilee. Don’t make this your second.” (“Same father,” Jerilee retorts.) By this point, Jerilee is so beaten down that she doesn’t even put up a fight when she’s invited to join a movie producer’s leathery, horse-toothed wife in a Jacuzzi. She ultimately triumphs, but it’s a Pyrrhic victory.
It should be noted that while Zadora is miscast and her acting ability is, put nicely, limited, she is not the root cause of “The Lonely Lady”’s badness. I doubt a more accomplished actress like, say, Ellen Barkin—who once said in an Esquire interview that she wanted this role (I’d like to think she was joking)—would be able to overcome the movie’s script that's as lazy as it is outrageous; Peter Sasdy’s couldn’t-care-less directing; costuming seemingly provided by Sears; flat and often washed-out cinematography; and overall cheap look. On the other hand, Barkin would be better able to make a scene of sexual assault appropriately horrifying rather than hilarious. Still, it’s Zadora who solidifies “The Lonely Lady”’s status as a camp classic. Without her it would be just another bad movie.
Among the Blu-ray extras is an interview with Zadora, who gives us a brief overview of her life and career, from starting as a child Broadway performer, to marrying her first husband, multi-millionaire Meshalum Riklis, to starring in “Butterfly.” She puts a lot of the blame for “The Lonely Lady”’s quality on Sasdy, a last minute replacement who left actors to fend for themselves. “I started writing my Razzie speech the moment we wrapped,” she says. She describes Lloyd Bochner as a “tight-ass,” but adds his attitude fit his character and helped her in portraying Jerilee. Though “The Lonely Lady” wasn’t Zadora’s last movie (“Voyage of the Rock Aliens” followed, plus some cameos in the comedies “Hairspray” and “Naked Gun 33 1/3”), she says the experience convinced her to concentrate on her singing career. In doing so she was able to turn her career around, gaining positive reviews—and newfound respect—for her albums of pop standards, "Pia & Phil" and "I Am What I Am." These days she has a cabaret act in Las Vegas.
Other extras include trailers for the movie and a standard-definition recording of the broadcast TV cut from 1987. Unfortunately, the extras do not include an interview with Ray Liotta. But, as Jerilee’s mother (Bibi Besch) reminds us: “Some people want everything.”
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John Ashley Nail
Pia Zadora + Harold Robbins = Trashtastic!
2017年6月25日にアメリカ合衆国でレビュー済みAmazonで購入
Rick
Big Fan - Pia Zadora
2018年4月3日にアメリカ合衆国でレビュー済みAmazonで購入
Ryan
Great campy fun!
2017年6月24日にアメリカ合衆国でレビュー済みAmazonで購入
Ryan
2017年6月24日にアメリカ合衆国でレビュー済み
Never released beyond laserdisc and VHS,
(Universal doesn't seem to ride the camp-appeal train that studios such as Paramount [Mommie Dearest] or 20th Century Fox [Rocky Horror, Showgirls] do) there seemed little chance it would EVER get a bluray release. I mean, why bother...right?
Luckily for us fans, Universal struck a deal with Shout! Factory and low and behold: The Lonely Lady has been unleashed again onto the world.
For those not in the know: The Lonely Lady is the screen version of Harold Robbins' novel about a young female screenwriter willing do to anything/anyone to make her way to the top. High art it ain't. Nor does it have to or intend to be. The screenplay was originally written by a woman but when they felt her adaption wasn't good enough (what would a woman screenwriter in Hollywood know about writing films in Holly...hey...wait a second!), John Kershaw and Shawn Randall were pulled on to punch up the script, and thus the screen version of Robbins' tale was born.
Garden hoses and mental breakdowns aside, What's presented to us is a complete hodge podge of a film with few to little elements of Robbins' novel making it into the script. You never really get to know the characters because instead of spending time with them, they spout off expositional dialogue used to move us onto the next scene. But what dialogue! Everything is said with such energy and exaggeration, even the most "tender" scene seems so over the top you can't help but chuckle on through it.
Sound and video is beautiful. After Universal's vault fire back in the early 2000s, I was SURE this would never see the light of day again. And if it did, it would look like crap. But it looks stunning. So yay.
Extras include an interview with Pia who more or less apologizes for the film, a trailer, tv spot, still gallery and the best of all: the extended tv cut of the film. Edited for dialogue (abortion is redubbed to miscarriage) but containing alternate and deleted scenes, it's a real treat and even MORE fun.
Buy several.
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Marc Peninou
Three Stars
2017年10月10日にカナダでレビュー済みAmazonで購入
TFR
Trashy! Ridiculous! Awful Performances! DON'T MISS IT!
2003年5月8日にアメリカ合衆国でレビュー済みAmazonで購入
