2011-06-12

97 things the programmer’s wife should know about her husband

I was so amazed by the original list, so I decided to translate it into English :-)

Original list from http://d.hatena.ne.jp/tt_clown/20101218/1292609206

Note

Some items may not make sense to non-Japanese people
This is very loose translation, sorry :-(
- - - -

For him, "nice round number" means binary number.
He can count up to 31 with one hand.
He is not versatile genius.
He is not strong at "computer".
Yes he is a programmer, but he is not an expert of Microsoft Office series.
You know what? A clerical assistant can do that work better than him.
He will get mad if you leave a PC in "KANA entry" mode; you should restore in "ROMAJI entry" mode.
He is good at GC in programming, but not so good at GC-ing his room.
He can code multi-thread processing, but he cannot do multi-thread processing.
What is inside that Amazon box is technological books, so you do not have to open it.
Books he pile up are in the stack; you should never change the sequence.
All O'Reily books are different books.
He may have many books with animals drawn on their covers, but they are not animal guides.
Sometimes, he does not code.
If he stops to be paticular about the program language or the editor he uses, he is either enlightened or totally exhausted.
Cheating on language and cheating on wife are totally different things.
No need to be surprised when you hear him saying "I will kill the child".
No need to be terrified when you hear him saying "I can't kill the child, so I will kill him with his parent".
When he says a "library," it does not mean a place with many books.
When he says "side effects," he does not mean anything negative.
When he says a "diamond inheritance," it has nothing to do with succession of property.
He might often mumble about jewery, but he knows nothing about jewery.
If he asks you "Which one do you like, Ruby or Pearl," you should answer "Pe(a)rl" with smile.
When he says "it will be done in a few seconds" or "it is almost done", it is far from done.
Even if he suddenly starts talking to himself, it does not mean that he goes nuts.
You will never be able to determine the right timing to start talking to him while he is facing his PC.
He is the most active at 11 to 12 pm.
His HP (hit point) is always near 0.
Whether he is in his office or at home does not matter; whether he is in front of a PC or not does matter.
He does not acknowledge a boundary between work and pleasure.
Playing "Monster Hunter" is his job.
Watching animation is his duty.
He may looks like he is working, but actually he is just playing with the Internet.
Going to BOF study meeting on weekend is due to his eagerness to get more from hardworking, not due to his laziness to get away from houseworking.
When he gets an emergency call at night, be prepared to cancel all schedules starting from tomorrow.
When he disappears at night, it is just that he is on his way for an urgent troubleshooting.
Even if he frequently comes back home in early morning, you should not suspect infidelity.
Even if he frequently goes to the office on weekend in casual clothes, you should not suspect infidelity.
A groom disappears during a wedding? Do not panic, he was probably called by his customer.
Leaving office on time is just an "urban legend".
Never trust him saying "I will be able to go back home today".
No need to panic if he does not return home for ten days.
Even if he is kidnapped and is blockaded in some places, it does not mean that he is involved in debt problem.
Do not suspect that he is fired even if you find him coming back home early.
Never ask him "when can you take your summer holiday?"
If you find him tweeting less and/or his tweets getting rough, he is probably very busy so please appreciate him.
He suffers trauma on words like "fire" and "march".
Basic salary vs. performance-based salary vs. overtime wage.
Labor standard act... is that yummy?
Delivery written as "OA (Office automation) equipment" is almost always not an OA equipment.
He is locking his PC, mobile, and iPhone for security reason, not to hide some secret emails or nasty pictures.
Never say "you already have a PC". PC is like your shoes and bags.
When you find him watching a movie on PC with full smile, he is watching Apple's new product release; Confiscate his credit card asap.
When a sudden family meeting is called on the next day of Steve Job's presentation, you should reject all his request(s) by saying "I don't know about other people, but we have our own rules!"
You should not throw away his T-shirts with weird pritns that he has gotten from somewhere.
You should not throw away figures and plamodels (plastic models) on his PC desk.
...no, they are not broken, and they are not garbage.
He needs Kinect because he needs to investigate on UI.
He plays "Love Plus" because he needs to ivestigate on UI.
He always care about user experience, but he loves CUI.
He has many small machines with screen that look identical, but they all have different purposes.
For operational verification he needs to get new products, and those products will be deliverd by Amazon.
You should learn how to use Yahoo! Auction so that you can earn some money by selling his gadgets.
You should tell him what you want for your birthday, or else you will end up getting a newly-introduced gadget for your birthday present.
If you want to surprise him with a birthday present, peep on his Amazon wish list.
When he tells you "I made a new iPhone app/Android app/Web site," you should respond with smile even if you have no clue what he is talking about.
When he suddenly burbles on something that you have no clue, it is just that he is excited by learning some interesting technology. The best answer would be "I am not quite sure if I get it, but it sounds very cool".
When he suddenly starts using weird terms, he got them from NicoNico Douga or some places similar.
Do not try to link his pseudonym and his real name. Never read out past entries on his blog. Do not even think about searching for his dark history by egosearching his pseudonym.
When he says "UCHI NO YOME GA... (the wife of mine ...)", this is not about you; this is an extremely technical phrase used among programmers.
He really hate to be called as "OTAKU"; he loves to be called as "geek".
When you want to please him, ask him "how to do this with only a keyboard. I do not want to touch mouse".
He will yell at you if you say "syumilation".
He will get in a bad mood if you mix up "less than", "less than or equal to", "greater than", and "greater than equal to".
He is very sensitive to the words like "absolutely", "not working", and "it is doing nothing". Using these words may be hazardous to his health and may cause him to pass away.
The most effective weapon to win a marital quarrel is a whiteboard.
The most effective response to his claiming on what you do is "that is the specification".
The most effective response to his claiming "that is the specification" is "the spec modification has been requested".
The most effective way to show that you are really angry is to cut all network lines.
He wants to automate the conversation with you if circumstances allows.
A wife inevitably come with the specification changes.
It is not nice to point the home server and complain "why that machine's power is always on even though it does nothing".
Method to contact him from the best to the worst: IRC, Skype, etc >>> Email >>>> (a huge gap) >>> Phone
To learn his schedule, check his Google Calendar.
Private schedule should be shared using the scheduler he has specified; just telling the schedule orally is too risky.
You should pound his duty into his head before he gets into "death march".
When you arrange an important family event, avoid setting it on the weekend near the deadline. He will never make it.
Be careful when you are stepping into his expertise topics.
When you talk about your friends, it is a good idea to summarize the relationship in a correlation diagram.
When you just want him to listen, you should clearly specify so.
You should be patient if he start to analyze and come up with a logical conclusion to your talk, even if all you actually wanted was his general sympathy.
You should itemize the requirements, or he will get confused.
If you are unhappy with your night life, just give him a RedBull.
You should periodically show his picture to your children and imprint his face to them.
You should not care if he is tweeting this "97 things the programmer's wife should know about her husband".
You should not care if you barely understand a half of what is written on this "97 things the programmer's wife should know about her husband". That is absolutely normal :-)
The truth is, he loves you; He does not say so because he thinks "don't rely on words. Feel!"

2007-01-30

インターネット相関図2007

Web

http://www.yukawanet.com/daly/log/2007/01/post_310.html

非常にわかりやすく、それぞれのプレイヤーの関係が示されております。
今後もバージョンアップされる予定とのことです。
ｗｋｔｋ

2006-12-03

kernel panic (´・ω・`)にょろーん

misc

えとですね。

先日、おいらの実験用のサーバ様が、kernel panic して気絶なされました。
重たい作業をさせていたわけではないのに、いきなり真夜中にぽっくりです。
しょうじき、ありえなーい。

でも、正直、おいらが管理するサーバって短命なことが多いので、まぁ kernel panic ぐらいはアリなのかもしれませぬ。

さて。
とりあえず、うりゃっと再起動をかけた後、原因追及を行うべく作業開始です。
が、おいらは基本的にサーバ管理知識ゼロなので、どうやって情報を収集すればよいのか、よくわかっていない有様。

ということで、googleさまに聞いてみたところ、こんなのを発見しました。

http://www.ipa.go.jp/software/open/forum/development/download/051115/OS-Tools.pdf

すごいぞ、ＩＰＡ。
えらいぞ、ＩＰＡ。

359ページだぞ、ＩＰＡ。
読む暇ねーぞ、ＩＰＡ。

　　　　　　　　　　 　 -‐ '´￣￣｀ヽ､
　　 　 　 　 　 　 ／　／" ｀ヽ ヽ　　＼
　　　　　　　　　//, '/　　　　 ヽﾊ 　､　ヽ
　　　　　　　　 〃 {_{　　　 　　　ﾘ| ｌ.│ i| 　に
　　　　　　　　 ﾚ!小ｌノ　　　 ｀ヽ 从　|、i|　　ょ
　　　　　　　 　 ヽ|l　●　　　●　 |　.|ﾉ│　 ろ
　 　 　 　　　　　 |ﾍ⊃ ､_,､_,⊂⊃j 　|　, |.　　l
　　　　　　　　　　|　/⌒l,､ __,　イァト |/ |　 ん
.　　　　　　　　　 | /　 /::|三/::/／　 ヽ |
　　　　　　　　　 | |　　l ヾ∨:::/ ヒ::::彡, |

…とりあえず [あとで読む]

2006-12-03

ＡＡでよくわからない、コンピュータセキュリティ

misc

http://www.misuzilla.org/~mayuki/misc/SecurityAA-Easy

いや、本当に全く解らないから（笑）

フィッシング


　　　　　　　　　＼　　　∩─ｰ､ 　　　==== 
　　　　　　　　　　 ＼／　●　､_ ｀ヽ 　　====== 
　　　　　　　　　　　/ ＼(　●　 ● |つ 
　　　　　　　　　　　|　　 X_入__ノ 　 ミ　　　そんなページで俺様が釣られクマ―― 
　　　　　　　　　　　 ､　(＿／　　　ノ　/⌒l 
　　　　　　　　　　　 /＼＿＿＿ノﾞ＿/　 /　　===== 
　　　　　　　　　 　 〈　　　　　　　　 ＿_ノ　　==== 
　　　　　　　　　　　 ＼　＼＿　　　　＼ 
　　　　　　　　　　　　　＼＿__）　　　　　＼　　　======　　　(´⌒ 
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　＼　　 ＿＿_ ＼＿＿　　(´⌒;;(´⌒;; 
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ＼＿＿＿）＿＿＿）(´;;⌒　 (´⌒;;　　ズザザザ

たしかに、これは、これ以外にありえない（笑）

2006-12-03

acknowledgement / acknowledgment

misc network

先日投稿した英文論文を添削にかけた際に初めて知ったのですが、「確認応答」などでよく使われる「ACK」のフルスペルは…

× acknowledgement
○ acknowledgment

ということらしいっす。今の今まで、知らなかった…

ただし、acknowledgement を使ってはダメというわけではないらしく、例えば Dictionary by Merriam-Webster: America's most-trusted online dictionary だと "acknowledgment" が main entry で、acknowledgement は Variant 扱いになってます。
（日本語でいうと「全然平気」みたいな感じで広まっちゃったってことでしょうか？）